This is what I have

Exhibiting FI qualities, by circumstance and design, circa winter 2012.

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck – Dalai Lama.

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This is what I have

On a hard floor lifted by air
a sock here, a sock there
and three bananas on a red bag

In the freezer,
frozen noodles and dumplings
a fist of bok choy and two large red onions
and thank god for the frozen gyozas
and eggs and cheese and coffee
and a loaf of bread and oranges, if only someone would peal them I’d eat them.

In a rather large closet (the largest I’ve ever had)
stands a wicked, full length mirror that makes me look real sleek
a bottle of complete multi-vitamins,
more noodles,
three formal shirts, three formal pants,
t-shirts, towels and more socks
an oversized jacket, two sweaters
two tight jeans, and a new yellow corduroy pant I got yesterday to wear this Friday –
and hopefully when I see the girl, whenever that happens, where ever
O’ destiny, please intervene – and make it a lovely girl please – lovely eyes, slender fingers and all
a heart of gold, real friendly and happy to complement my sometimes somber fallings
A pair of boots, three times more expensive than the most expensive I ever bought before I bought it –
my old and faithful tennis shoes, and the converse I never thought I’d wear
one never knows what one may, will,

And the laptop and the iphone that have been the best of friends
my light in the dark –

And of course, the mind that is in two roads,
one in bhakti, devotional surrender,
the other in fighting through it all, no submission.
There’s victory either way
and how wonderful is that
that I have a choice,
that wisdom and experience is a blessing
and my scars only end up looking edgy
and real sexy.

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